Face your fear
"Dune" is a perennial favorite among nerds. One of its most quoted passages (aside from "the spice must flow") is the "Litany Against Fear":
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Many people have this memorized, and I am sure that some of them use it to help them get past their own fear. I wonder, though, how much people contemplate the meaning of the last two or three lines. It is about more than just getting yourself to chill the fuck out–we have that taken care of once we permit it to pass over us and through us.
So, what are we to make of, "And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path"? With few exceptions, our fear does not come to us simply out of nowhere. Our brain decides somewhere along the way that there are things we have good reasons to be afraid of.
I don't know enough about Dune to tell you whether my interpretation is completely in line with the canon, but to me, it feels an awful lot like dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). DBT was originally developed to help treat borderline personality disorder, but has shown to be effective at treating many other conditions as well. It is a modified form of cognitive behavioral therapy where the subject takes a methodical approach to emotions in order to learn how to regulate them effectively. The "dialectical" part of it is because your "rational mind" is having a dialogue with your "emotional mind," creating a synthesis in "the wise mind."
In practice, it is a lot like doing homework or a lab report about yourself, but it is that scientific sort of approach that makes it so effective.
Here is a hypothetical scenario where we could use DBT, as viewed through the Litany Against Fear: you feel like you need a new job, because the one you're in now isn't fulfilling, and it's basically a dead end. But your fear is keeping you from doing anything about it, like updating your resume, or applying to job listings. So let's "turn the inner eye" and write a list of different reasons one could be afraid of job hunting:
wasted energy/effort if I get rejected
I might not be as talented as I think I am
Even if they hire me, I'm going to feel useless and ignorant when I start the new job.
Lots of changes: new people, new location, new daily routine, etc.
Current job is pretty secure. New job might not be.
What are some commonalities? Some of the ones I notice are security, change, and ego/self esteem. This is the fear's path.
Now that you see that path, only you remain. This means that where there was once an emotion, we now have elements of who you are. The trick is that they are not set in stone, and we are free to change them. We can respond to our fear, and find reasons that nothing in our list is actually a reason not to look for a job.
Working at a job you hate is wasted effort all on its own, not to mention wasted time.
You might be even more talented than you think you are. Even if you're not, its better to know the truth.
Again, you might be better at it than you think. If you can handle getting a new job, you can handle starting that job. Besides, as Jake the Dog tells us, "Sucking at something is the first step to being kinda good at something."
Cross that bridge when you come to it. Even if things feel worse for a short time, your goal is to feel better about working at your future job than you do at your present job.
This is the only thing that can have real consequences. The worst case scenario is that you have no job at all and have to do this all over again. You may have more time, but you won't have any financial security.
The real decision to make now is whether #5 is a big enough risk to stay where you are. How long are you going to stay in your present job, though? Until you can collect a pension? Until you can't physically work anymore? If it's a dead-end job, you are going to be in that dead end until you go somewhere else, so hopefully, it doesn't even feel like a choice.
The you who remains now is a person who wants more out of their life, and is willing to take risks to get it. Or, you know, however you want to spin this.
If you are interested in learning more about DBT, one place to start is The DBT Skills Training Manual by Marsha Linehan, and its accompanying workbook. If it already sounds like something that would really help you out, my recommendation would be to find a local DBT clinic or group. I have been practicing it without doing that, but I am also seeing a therapist regularly.
My self-directed recovery plan is also not something that I would recommend to anyone at all, even though it has been working out alright for me. It has been my #1 hobby for the past four years now. I would totally love to be making art or music in my spare time, but instead it's just me thinking about my issues, with occasional epiphanies of, "... oh, that's not normal at all." I'm sure that you can look forward to a post in the future about my recovery roadmap, though.